I haven’t felt compelled to write about the Justice series at Seven24 until today, after reading Tabitha’s post about it. Her reaction to this series, though much more distressed than mine, was similar in a way that I previously thought no one else’s to be. I don’t feel convicted at all.

We have been dealing with some pretty heavy-handed stuff. We’ve talked about human trafficking, sex slavery, sweat shops, and all sorts of gruesome injustice around the world. We’ve talked about what God thinks of all that, and what we are supposed to do about it. The scripture we’ve looked at has all been from the prophets- Isaiah, Ezekial, Micah, etc. The goal of the series has been not to just talk about it and feel bad, but to move us to action to actually affect these issues in some way.

I don’t feel called to action. I don’t feel like God is telling me to devote time to pursuing social justice. Yes, what is going on in the world does sadden me, shock me, and infuriate me. But beyond that, I pray for it and go back to my current ministry committments. This past Sunday Brian had Brett play Jon Foreman’s song “Instead of a Show.” I listened to it as a music lover, to be quite honest. My thoughts went something like, “Wow, this is a pretty sweet song. I love Jon Foreman. Brett has such an incredible voice. I love the progression of the song. The chorus is pretty awesome. I’m going to have to download this.” When it was over and we began discussing it, I quickly came to realize that a lot of people felt like there was “blood on their hands” and that they needed to do something about it, and that perhaps God was stopping up His ears when they worshipped. Oops; was I not listening properly?

When we finished the discussion and had the worship/response time, Brian mentioned that we may feel uncomfortable singing after all of that and that was okay, there were other things to do to respond. I walked up to the front to be a prayer partner, and thought about whether or not I felt like I should sing. Of course I wanted to sing! I’m a stinkin’ singer! It’s what I do! But as a Christian responding to a heavy message? I still wanted to sing. I have almost never felt like I shouldn’t/couldn’t sing when worshipping. I try each time I come before God in song to have my whole heart in it, whether that means my heart is sad or rejoicing, whether it is guilty or free. Occassionally, yes, I’ll be a distracted worshipper, giving my thoughts to how my voice sounds and am I hitting that harmony just right, but for the most part I turn my mind and heart on God and use music to express everything I feel towards Him. This week, as many of my friends felt convicted or some other variation of being downcast, I was expressing joy, gratitude, awe, and excitement.

I think Satan did some pretty effective work on Tabitha this Sunday. It breaks my heart to know that she was so distraught over all of this. No one can look at her reaction and tell me God wants her to feel that way. I think we have to be very careful about how we teach on these kinds of topics. It is not my understanding from Sunday’s passage (Isaiah 1:10-18) that God hates our worship unless we are doing everything in our power against injustice, and that that means making major lifestyle changes and getting jazzed about all sorts of social activism. Sometimes praying with a compassionate heart is doing everything in your power against injustice. Not everyone can afford to shop at sweat-shop-free stores or buy only fair trade coffee all the time. My family has been struggling financially big time for years now. Every time we talk about tithing, or sponsoring a child, or doing anything good with our money, I feel a desire to take part and quickly remember that there is no freakin’ way that’s gonna happen. We’re stinkin’ broke. And I think God is okay with that, because while man sees only the external, He sees the heart, and I know my heart is in the right place.