It’s Friday night, and though I’m done with worship and could be home already, I’m hiding out in the darkened church office, watching the sunset through the thin black bars of the cage. It’s a really beautiful sunset. Words won’t do it justice, so I’ll refrain from trying to describe it.

I don’t actually have anything of significance to say. I just felt like writing.

The chief end of man is to love God, which encompasses glorifying Him and enjoying Him forever. I love that we are powerless to love Him of our own accord. Only He can give us the ability to love Him more. He won’t force Himself on us though; He waits for us to want to want Him, and then He’ll give us some of that divine love for the Divine.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about loving God. I’ve been reading a book all about loving Him and listening to sermons about loving Him. I’ve been thinking back to the time when I think I was most in love with Him. I want to always be “most” in love with Him. I want to love Him more today than I did yesterday, and never stagnate in that.

I think I was most in love with Him last year in the late spring. I had just read The Sacred Romance. I was spending a lot of time alone with Him in beautiful places, usually the beach. I thought about Him constantly, as lovers do, and was always longing to get away with Him. I was in school then, which meant that I was sometimes ditching class to go hang out with Jesus on the beach. I even read my Bible instead of studying for finals- but then He blessed me with all A’s and one B.

I think I actually do love God just as much now as I did back then, it’s just that the capacity for love has increased. I think of it this way. Let’s say my heart, ie my love, is in a box. It can grow to fill up the box, which makes it seem fully grown. But over time, the box itself grows, and my heart stays the same size. Suddenly, I realize that there is more room to grow, or to love, and then my heart again can grow to fill up the box. There will always be more room to grow (increase in love), because as soon as the box is full, it gets bigger and provides more room.

I don’t know if that makes sense to you. It does to me.

If ever we lose sight of the fact that the point of all this insanity called life is loving God, then whatever we are doing becomes worthless. If we could only have one thing to focus on for the rest of our lives, it would have to be loving God. What if we went about our days relating everything back to this? What if in every situation we asked ourselves, “Will this help me love God more? Will it help someone else love God more? Will it be an expression of my love for God?” I think we’d waste a lot less time if we operated this way. Maybe then I wouldn’t have waited 3 months to clean my room, because I would have realized that being a good steward of the possessions He’s given me is glorifying to Him, which is an expression of love. Maybe I would stop procrastinating, because doing my work well, in His name, is honoring to Him. Maybe I would eat better & exercise, because taking care of my body is respecting His creation, aka me.

I dunno. Maybe I will try this uni-focus lifestyle. It’s so easy to get swept away by so many cares; not all of them are bad, but only this one is the best. I think I’m ready to stop focusing on accomplishing things just for the sake of accomplishing them, or doing a & b just so I can get to c. I can love Jesus here and now. I don’t have to wait until I finish my undergrad, or until I get hired as a worship leader or youth worker. If loving Him is my focus, then I have a better chance of reaching my goals more quickly than if I’m thinking more about finishing community college before 2011.