Update!

• This morning I had my phone interview for the One Thing Internship! It went really well; better than I thought, actually, because my friend Alyssa, current One Thing intern, walked into her class afterwards and heard about my interview! Tamice, who interviewed me, said she liked me. I guess I made a good impression! I am so beyond blessed; truly I am a great debtor to grace!
• This week or next I will be booking a hotel room for the onething09 conference in KC (Dec. 28-31) that I am attending before the internship starts. I’m praying about inviting someone to come with me; the room is only $45/night for two occupants, so if a friend wanted to come on our road trip, split the room ($90 total), and find her own way back to CA, well, that would just be super cool!
• By the abounding grace of God, all of my tuition money has been pledged to me!!! I’m still so stunned. A friend has told me God told him to give me all the money, and I am eternally grateful! This has confirmed my calling and increased my faith tremendously.
• I’m studying the book of Revelation and it is blowing my mind! Prophecy is probably my favorite type of Biblical literature. I have come to the conclusion that when it comes to eschatology I am an amillenial idealist. (Those Wikipedia articles give really lame descriptions; if you have access to the ESV Study Bible I would recommend reading the introduction to the book of Revelation for better descriptions.) I feel that God has revealed (ie allowed me to understand) some aspects of Revelation but that I will never understand as much as I want (though I expect to understand more in the future, especially at IHOP). We can never fully grasp prophecy until is has been fulfilled. This article on the purpose of prophecy really helped me to enter study of Revelation with a Biblical mindset. If you are at all interested in the study of the prophetic books I would definitely recommend reading it.
• I really want an ukulele for my upcoming 20th birthday :) That’s not a hint, just me being the nerd that I am.

That is all. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement; it really means a lot to me.

‘Cause this is what you’ve waited for

It didn’t fully hit me until today. Yesterday, I found an email in my inbox saying they had received my application and would soon be setting up a phone interview. Today, a new email gave me available times & days for the interview.

This is really happening. I’m really going to be an IHOP intern.

I’ve thought about this everyday since October 1st when I decided to do it. Most of the thoughts have been happy ones; I am certain that the positive outcomes of moving will outweigh the pain of the goodbyes. Sometimes I let myself linger over daydreams of goodbyes for too long  and sadness overwhelms me. But more often than not, I am simply thrilled with the thought of leaving. 

Even with all that time spent thinking about it, talking about it, running around the house squealing about it, I still hadn’t realized it that it’s actually going to happen.

Now I get it. This is happening. I am moving to Kansas City, MO in 65 days. I am leaving everything about the life I know and plunging myself deep into a lifestyle of prayer and fasting.

I’m going to be a part of the 24/7 worship & prayer movement.

Wow.

[Title: Say It To Me Now by The Frames]

The Heart of Worship

As a worship leader, I sometimes get frustrated with the response of the people in the services I lead. Worshiping God through music is one of my favorite things to do in the whole world. When I look out from the stage and see a group of people respond with seemingly no energy or enthusiasm when I ask them to praise the God with me, I get a little upset. I start to feel undervalued, as if it’s my responsibility to change their hearts from apathetic to worshipful.

As I was venting about this after a recent service, someone reminded me of a simple but profound truth: I lead worship because I love God. I don’t do it for the people in the seats. Yes, God uses worship leaders to bless people & lead them into His presence, but worship is primarily a ministry to God Himself. When I serve a congregation by leading worship for them, I am ministering directly to the heart of God. If the people benefit from that, it’s because the Holy Spirit is moving in their hearts to bring them into a place of authentic worship.

I decided to try out this fresh perspective this past week. I had the opportunity to play at an outreach on Saturday because the band that had been scheduled cancelled at almost the last minute. I asked two friends to play drums and bass and we prepared 15 songs. The night before the event I prayed, telling God that I was going to do it because I love Him and I love music, and it was going to serve as a time where I could thank God for giving me music. I acknowledged that there was a chance no one would pay us any attention, and that I would be okay with that. I refused to be entertainment and instead went into it knowing that if anyone outside our little band was going to benefit from our music, it would be thanks to the Holy Spirit.

It ended up being fantastically fun! Had I not engaged this perspective, however, I would have left feeling bitter and unappreciated. I couldn’t really see anyone paying us any attention when we were playing; I know everyone heard us but I doubt anyone waslistening. God, however, was listening, and I know that our worship blessed His heart. What better could I ask for, really?

Holy Spirit, I acknowledge that only You can change the hearts of Your people to get excited about worshiping You. I thank You for making me a worshiper, and that when I play I can feel Your smile. I pray that You would work in the hearts of the people who hear me & the band, that You would begin to make worship come alive for them. Let their desire to worship You burn in their bones so that they cannot contain it! I love You. Thank You for granting the requests of Your people that are according to Your will. Amen.

[Title: The Heart of Worship by Matt Redman]